#I COULD RANT ABOUT THEM FOR HOURS
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sweetestflow3rs · 3 days ago
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Do Vanida and Whitney ever switch? What’s their sexual dynamic like?
ANON I WANT YOU TO KNOW I SPENT A LONG TIME THINKING ABOUT THIS- but yes, let me unlock my essay length explanation of their sexual dynamics
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SO!! Whitney and Vanida's sexual dynamic is like... pretty set in stone, after dating for like almost 2-3 years since 2nd Year / Sophmore Year! While they had one or two sexually explicit encounters Freshman / 1st Year ( Whitney making Vanida suck her dick ), their sexual dynamic wasn't really established just yet. Since that time was just.... bully and the victim who kept trying to see the good in the bully LMAO
Even when they started 'dating' ( Whitney declaring them girlfriends but Vanida thinking Whitney is joking ), there were some tumbles around their sexual dynamic. I feel like Whitney kept wanting to explore and see more of Vanida's vulnerabilities like the night they got drunk and had sex, but Vanida was a shut & locked door; which made sex quick and not like... as passionate as it could be.
Vanida didn't really trust Whitney, so intimacy was often for show on her end and Whitney sensed that and it annoyed the HELL out of her.
I feel like after the 'Whitney points a gun at Bailey' is when their sexual dynamic starts forming more properly. Like, now, Vanida feels and knows now that she can trust Whitney and Whitney is like, a stable figure, that she is more willing to open herself sexually with Whitney which shifts their entire dynamic.
Which, I'm sure some can guess, their sexual dynamic often involves Whitney taking charge, being the one who is in a more dominant role when it comes to sex while Vanida often takes a submissive, almost needy side. ( Though only with Whitney ) Vanida, as someone who lies almost 24/7, keeping a mask on, always having to take control of her situations and everyone around her; the core of her sexual dynamic with Whitney is that she is able to let go and have someone else care to her needs. She doesn't need to put a front on, and can be whoever she wants to be, because she feels secure enough that Whitney loves her no matter what. And in turn, this a deep turn on for Whitney, who tried for so long to see what was under Vanida's skin and desired to see her vulnerable and open.
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It is even MORE of a turn on for Whitney, knowing Vanida is only a true submissive with her. And the fact that like, Vanida fake moans with everyone else she has sex with ( more loud and giggly ) while she moans for real with Whitney ( more quiet, whimpering, breathy ).
Whitney likes having control in their dynamic, too, because it is an affirmation of Vanida's desire for only her; and satiates her possessive clinginess. She also sees how it makes Vanida feel better and brightens her day, so like!!! DOUBLE WIN!!
I feel like the only time they would switch dynamics where Vanida is in control in the bedroom, is if Vanida was like... particularly upset. Maybe someone trying to claim Whitney as theirs, or trying to put a claim on her. She'd take control, asking Whitney to either reassure her that she is theirs, or asking Whitney to say "I'm yours": which both, I imagine make Whitney lowkey giggly. Like WOW, you want me sooo bad ( she wants vani just as bad )
Though anon, if you mean penetration-wise? I don't think they'll switch that up LMAO
Maybe Vanida suggested it once, but I don't think Whitney would ever agree to that. Like yeah yeah, g-spot in the prostrate whatever, but she does NAWT like being reduced to a whimpery, crying mess. And Vanida is also lowkey against it too, because if Whitney's cum goes anywhere that isn't in her, or on her, she's going to get upset. ( Vanida is a 'remove condom' fiend, but it's okay she takes contraceptive pills )
WHICH!! THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME RANT ANON, I HOPE I ANSWERED SUFFICENTLY!
which also, whitvani possessive in-game moment for you
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riovidyke · 2 months ago
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agatha after being rio’s entire lifeline and reason for existing (she taught her how to live, how to feel, how to love) and rio after being agatha’s one true love and the one person she can never truly stop loving.. this quote literally goes both ways. there is no agatha without rio and no rio without agatha; they are always interlinked, always have been. they will always find their way back to each other whether they like it or not. (agatha really really doesn’t.)
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heyybeach · 1 year ago
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Every time I watch post-coming out content from Dan and Phil I just feel like something is healing inside of me
It's hard to describe really, but they're clearly so much more comfortable and unrestrained. The gay jokes are flying out of them, and as someone who is out in some parts of my life and not out in others, I can relate to having all those jokes on the tip of your tongue but not always being able to say them
Here's where I get soppy. They make me feel warm and fuzzy and safe okay. They are my comfort millennials
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secretly-larry-daley · 8 months ago
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Larry x McPhee but like, McPhee thinks Larry wants Lancelot or something (Lancelot is a homewrecker at this point, almost ruined them and jedtavius) but Larry is like 'he's a wax figure?' and everything turns out all right in the end. Thanks for coming to my mini fanfic.
This is such a funny ask coming from some that ships both Knightguard and LarPhee (aka Museum dads.)
Because I’ve actually thought about this before lmao! And honestly it’s a funny concept. And if we’re talking about my McPhee (one who has an old fashioned western pistol in his desk) they’d probably try to duel it out. Which is more so just a fight of vague threats and waving around their weapons than any harm.
Larry is just britsexual at this point, it’s crazy. He’s shipped with so many British people (and people who have British accents) /j
But yeah… if Larry were to choose, he’d most likely choose McPhee since he’s a human. But if he was out of the picture, I could see him with Lancelot.
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rainyscans · 2 years ago
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Thank you so much for all your mamizo translations !! I love their work so much, probably my favorite depiction of kageoi 😭🙏
Captures them so well, don't they??!?!?!? It's very much my pleasure to have brought them to you!!
Book group, but every other week it's mamizo;;;;;;
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rubikor · 1 year ago
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would you hold my face softly and tell me it will be alright?
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pixelkip · 11 months ago
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You know what. Why do we as a touhou fandom not talk about the fact the pc98 songs are canon. They exist. In canon. Akyuu has them documented and has probably heard them. Someone within touhou's universe wrote them. Reimu could probably actually listen to her own theme. Were the songs actually written about the events of those games?? Was eternal shrine maiden written about reimu?? Was love colored magic written about marisa?? I'm going insane
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"Murder is Werewolves" - Batman
I don't got the SPOONS to do this thought train justice, I have seriously been trying to write this thing for MONTHS so just, idk, have this half baked skeletal outline of the essay I guess:
I don't believe that Batman's no-kill rule is primarily about rehabilitation or second chances.
His refusal to believe that Cassandra could have killed someone when she was eight years old because "how could a killer understand my commitment not to kill" is absolute fucking MOON LOGIC from a rehabilitationist standpoint. No jury on the planet would think for even a second that she could reasonably be held accountable for her actions in that situation! Her past cannot condemn her to being incapable of valuing human life under a rehabilitation centering framework. However, Batman's reasoning makes perfect sense if he believes that killing is a spiritually/morally corrupting act which permanently and fundamentally changes a person, and that corruption can never be fully undone.
Dick Grayson killing the Joker is treated both narratively and by Batman as an unequivocally WIN for the Joker. The Joker won by turning Nightwing into a killer. Note that this is during a comic in which the Joker transforming people was a major theme! Batman didn't revive the Joker because the Joker deserved to live; he revived the Joker to lift the burden on Dick.
His appeal to Stephanie when she tried to kill her dad is that she shouldn't ruin her own life. He gives no defense of Cluemaster's actual life. Granted this is a rhetorical strategy moment and should be taken with a generous pinch of salt, but it fits in the pattern.
When Jason becomes a willful killer, he essentially disowns him, never treats him with full trust ever again, and... Well, we can stop here for Bruce's sake. Bottom line is that his actions towards Jason do not lead me to believe that he thinks Jason can become a better person without having his autonomy taken from him, either partially or fully.
The Joker is, for better or worse, the ultimate symbol and vessel of pure, irredeemable evil in DC comics now. He hasn't been just another crook in a long time. He will never get better, he will only get worse. If you take it to be true that the Joker will not or can not rehabilitate, then there's no rehabilitationist argument against killing him.
Batman does not seem to consider it a possibly that he'll rehabilitate. Batman at several points seems to think that the Joker dying in a manner no one could have prevented would be good. Yet Batman fully believes that if he killed the Joker, he himself would become irredeemable.
Batman's own form of justice (putting people into the hospital and then prison) is fucking brutal and clearly not rehabilitative. He disrespects the most basic human rights of all criminals on a regular basis. It is genuinely really, really weird from a rehabilitationist standpoint that his only uncrossable line is killing... But it makes perfect sense if he cares more about not corrupting himself with the act of killing than the actual ethical results of any individual decision to kill or not kill.
In the real world cops are all bastards because they are too violent to criminals, even when that violence doesn't lead to death. Prison is a wildly evil thing to do to another human being, and you don't use it to steal away massive portions of a person's life if your goal is to rehabilitate them. In the comic world, Batman is said to be necessary because the corrupt cops are too nice to criminals and keep letting them out of jail. I don't know how to write a connector sentence there so like I hope you can see why this bothers me so damn much! That's just not forgiveness vibes there Batman!!
I want to make special note here of the transformative aspect. You don't simply commit a single act when you kill, no, you become a killer, like you might become a werewolf.
The narrative supports this a lot!
Why did Supes go evil during Injustice? He killed the Joker. Why did Bruce become the Batman Who Laughs? Bruce killed the Joker. Why was Jason Todd close to becoming a new Joker during Three Jokers? Because he killed people, to include the Joker.
Even if these notions of redemption being impossible aren't the whole of his reasoning (people never have only one reason for doing what they do) it is a distinct through-line pattern in his actions and reasoning, and it is directly at odds with notions of rehabilitation, redemption, and second chances.
So why does he give so many killers second chances?
Firstly because this doesn't apply to all versions of Batman. Some writers explicitly incorporate rehabilitation and forgiveness into his actions. You will be able to provide me with examples of this other through-line pattern if you go looking for them. The nature of comics is to be inconsistent.
Secondly the existence of that other pattern does not negate the existence of this one. People and characters are complex, and perfectly capable of holding two patterns of belief within themselves, even when they conflict to this degree. You can absolutely synthesize these two ideas into a single messy Batman philosophical vibescape.
Finally and most importantly to this essay: he has mercy on killers the same way that werewolf hunters sometimes have mercy on someone who is clearly struggling against their monsterous nature, especially if they were turned in exceptional circumstances or against their will. They understand that they are sick, damned beasts, cursed to always be fighting against themselves and the evil they harbor within. It is vitally kind to help them fight themselves by curtailing their autonomy in helpful ways and providing them with chances to do some good to make up for their eternal moral deficiency.
I think in many comics Batman views killers as lost souls. Battered and tormented monsters who must be pitied and given mercy wherever possible. (The connections to mental health, addiction, and rampant, horrifying ableism towards people struggling with both is unavoidable, but addressing it is sadly outside of the scope of this essay.)
Above all, the greatest care possible must be taken to never, ever let yourself become one of them, because once you have transformed the beast will forever be within you growing stronger.
To Batman, it is the most noble burden, the highest mercy, the most important commandment: Thou shalt suffer the monsters to live.
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scarlett-ink · 3 months ago
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The fic bracelets came out so good
(Pretend like you can read the glow in the dark, the focus was as good as it was gonna get)
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Links to the fics (at least the two that are out right now will update later when the other two are out):
To Steal a Butterfly
Eclipse of the Valley
Can you guess the theme of the bracelets lmao
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Bonus To Steal a Butterfly and Eclipse of the Valley stuff:
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thechibilitwick · 1 year ago
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one thing that constantly plagues my mind is this single milgram timeline interaction between shidou and kazui on kazui's birthday
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like not only is it extremely gay but i've recently realized the fact that kazui mentions it's his birthday has certain implications. milgram is pretty thoughtfully written, which would lead me to believe that they wouldn't disregard things that have been said in the past no matter how long ago.
meaning the things kazui said on his first birthday is still just as relevant even now.
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this would imply that kazui bringing up the fact it was his birthday was just an excuse to get shidou to spend some time with him.
why would he go out of his way to mention something he claims he doesn’t care much about if not as an excuse to get shidou to actually spend time with him? either it's just his crippling loneliness or he actually does have a thing for shidou, especially with the way his development is going and how his feelings and desires are being affirmed. plus every milgram interaction has some form of significance to the characters' development.
i do still feel like it's kind of a reach to make this assumption and i'm probably reading into it way too much, cuz it really could just be kazui being nice, but, y'know, why place so much emphasis on it? and also a SHOULDER MASSAGE being offered by the guy who craves physical touch? the closet is not even glass atp it’s been disassembled and returned to ikea
anyways 0507 is real
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lotus-pear · 6 months ago
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It would be so out of character but imagine after the funeral he’s still in black for the pm exchange and Dazai just. Steps forward with a dead look in his eyes.
Love the new art!!
YOU………………..YOU SICK BASTARD…………….
i feel like after kunikida’s death his resolve would strengthen more than anything….to carry on his partners dead legacy and serve as the role model kuni was for the younger ada members—the role model he portrayed for dazai himself while he was still in mourning over oda, lost and without purpose trying to fulfill a dead man’s dream. kunikida’s morality and unflinching resolve so fervently reminded him of his dead friend, which is why he latched on so hard initially. it’s in dazai’s nature to latch onto people in order to understand humanity better. it’s what he did with chuuya and oda in the mafia. it’s what he did with kunikida. so being forced to fill the successor’s shoes will be a difficult task but it will also be so valuable for his character arc.
on the other side, kunikida’s death being so reminiscent of oda’s could be what breaks him—knowing it was his own plan that doomed his partner. that he has yet again failed to save someone from their fatalistic heart. he could go back to the mafia bc he knows he can suppress his emotions there; also because running and defecting is how he tried to escape the previous death. perhaps he’ll run again.
it’s dazai so it’s honestly hard to tell what can and will happen. all i know is that kunikida’s death will definitely be a turning point in his life, one of the most major events yet. it’s no small ordeal.
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rustic-sh4rkboy · 2 months ago
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calmest decepticon youll ever meet and his bitchass boyfriend
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twinstxrs · 7 months ago
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thinking about kageyama’s “it’s the setter’s job to break the wall in front of the spiker” in reference to how kenma sponsoring hinata while he’s in brazil and onwards is effectively doing that on a financial level. once a setter always a setter.
#could talk about how the narrative purpose of every setter (at least in hinata’s story) reflects the idea of breaking a wall in front of him#for hours i think#i want to do a full manga read to fully think about that but#atsumu & hinata’s feeling that he needs kageyama. kenma & just the financial logistics of being able to go to brazil. oikawa & homesickness#obviously there’s more going on w/ all the characters but like. those 3 & kageyama (obviously) all have at least one big thing they help-#hinata overcome. kageyama has so many of these moments w/ hinata i’d have to rewatch & list them all but yea.#akaashi is also this but for bokuto. (bokuto is this for akaashi as well)#(& if we’re talking setters & spikers obviously hinata is that for kageyama. Obviously. they’re soulmates)#i know this is lowkey just me analyzing the concept of support which a team sport series is inevitably filled to the brim with#but with a lot of what i consider to be hinata’s big character moments… it’s always setters man. & that feels deeply intentional.#& takeda obviously but he’s the coach. that is his Narrative Purpose#i wonder if there’s something strong to be said about main characters positions within the team & their strongest overall narrative purposes#like ‘libero’ meaning free in italian & nishinoya & freedom being his Whole Thing. he goes to karasuno bc he likes the uniform!!#i’m curious if i took every character & took their position if i’d find a list of commonalities between their narrative purposes. idk!#but yea anyways i dislike dumbing down hinata’s relationships w/ his setters as like ‘omg setter harem’ as anything other than a light joke#but hinata & setters is such a big deal. almost all my favorite hinata dynamics are with setters i think & that’s bc of that importance#if anyone read this rant in the tags thank you for your time lol. happy birthday hinata i love you forever#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyū!!#hinata shouyou#hinata shoyo#kozume kenma
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beanghostprincess · 1 year ago
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I wanna know who your favorite vinsmoke sibling is so bad actually please tell me 👀✨
My friend and my brother laughed at me when I told them my favorite Vinsmoke is Niji, and I genuinely was embarrassed that day because I didn't really know much about him at the time (I think I had only watched a few eps of WCI) and it's pretty clear in the show that he's, uh, the worst of the Vinsmokes. And by "the worst" I mean: The one who's portrayed as the worst because he's the most active one when it comes to abuse and supremacism within the family line. Unlike Ichiji (who's more serious) and Yonji (who's more playful, somehow) Niji is the one who has to actually fight for a role in his family and that's why I think he's so fucking annoying all the damn time. I hate him. I love him. I want to hug him. But also I wouldn't mind punching him very, very hard. I have mixed feelings, but yeah, Niji is my favorite Vinsmoke. And you haven't asked why, but I feel the need to do some sort of mini argument about this because I am a very resentful person and I want to show my friend and my brother that Niji is actually a very interesting character!! And my fiancé thinks I just like him because he's hot, and she's right but only like a 20%. Maybe 40%.
I will try to put my thoughts into words, but it's pretty difficult because I have a lot of things to say about this blue evil gremlin.
I like Niji the most because I think he is, between the three brothers, the one who shows feelings and ambitions outside their emotionless selves the most. I know they technically are the same, but I don't think so (btw, please assume I'm not including Reiju in this text because she's canonically different from them and I'm just referring to the brothers).
As I mentioned before, I think Niji is the one brother who is the most annoying and evil because he feels the need to stand out. Ichiji is serious, and calculative and has a secure place in the family. He is the number one, even if Reiju is the oldest (I would like to talk more about how Reiju, being a woman, even if she's the oldest, she's the number 0. Because she is the oldest but she's a woman, so she obviously doesn't and would not be able to wear the number 1 like a man would. She is the oldest and yet, she has less significance in the family line than Ichiji. But, yeah, this is something that has nothing to do with Niji, sorry). Ichiji, like all of his siblings, wants recognition from his father, but he doesn't have to try as hard as the others to be impressive because he is, after all, the oldest. The typical "older sibling in an abusive household who has to deal with all the bullshit to protect their siblings"? That's something Reiju took over. That's Reiju's responsibility as the oldest and the woman. Ichiji literally doesn't have to do anything besides leading the team and being the evil, emotionless machine his father created. That does not mean that I don't think he could be able to develop more feelings, because I think he could and I love the concept of him being the first one to protest against Judge's behavior, but you get me. When you're the oldest brother with an even older sister, your responsibilities are pretty limited. So he doesn't have to be anything but there and himself.
Yonji, on the other hand... He is the youngest. Even younger than Sanji. He doesn't have to try, because Niji and Sanji should be the ones to do so. Little siblings are not expected to do much besides existing because irl parents are usually tired of raising children and they end up either getting neglected or seen as decoration. As a little sibling myself I can confirm that these things affect really badly to your brain growing up, but I got a more Sanji treatment so I can't speak for Yonji here. The thing I can say, though, is that in comparison to Niji, Yonji is just there. He's silly and goofy. He's funny. He's dumb. He has the excuse of being the little one to act that way. Getting lost eating or doing whatever. Even the fact that his powers are more physically focused instead of power/intelligence centered shows that he can just punch away his issues. He's the gym bro of the siblings. Don't expect much from him. <- Thing that's often said about little siblings, btw, and affects real fucking badly in early teenage years. The fact that he's portrayed like that is so on point tbh but after all, they don't have high expectations for him, so little to no effort is everything he does.
Then there's Niji, of course. My favorite. Love him. Hate him. Whatever. Niji is the middle child. And God, do I have to say things about middle siblings.
The thing about Niji is that he actually has to try and make a name for himself in the family because otherwise he'll probably get forgotten. I often wonder if he had that fear of becoming the next Sanji once he "died" (he's the only one genuinely asking if Sanji died on them before Yonji and Ichiji say they don't care) because his role is not as noticeable as the others. Reiju is the woman, Ichiji is the successor, Sanji is the weakling getting bullied (being technically one of the little siblings but still being in a limbo of middle/youngest because the little one is Yonji), and Yonji is the little one. Then... What's Niji?
Niji needs Sanji way more than he's willing to admit, and I love that. I absolutely love how he's written because he constantly shows that he needs Sanji, through both words and actions. He needs him because without Sanji's existence -without Niji being his bully- Niji is nothing but number 2. And there's nothing more frustrating than being the number two when it comes to family hierarchy. Not going to mention every little thing he does, but as I said, I love how well-written he is. He's the sibling Oda uses the most to show the abuse Sanji went through, but that's only because Niji is the only one who needs to do that. Niji is the one to talk to Sanji first, all the damn time. He gets angry when Sanji doesn't respond. He gets angry because Sanji can't be bullied anymore. He gets angry out of fear, in my opinion, because if the weakling can't get abused anymore, then he's not worth anything. If Sanji isn't the third, the second one is left alone. 2 can't fight 1 because 1 has the protection of starting the line. And 2 can't fight 4 because there's a missing link that keeps 2 from 4. So Niji is mad at Sanji because Sanji isn't the same weak crybaby he used to be, and he can't use him anymore to be secure and safe.
That's fucking horrifying when it comes to family hierarchy.
I like Niji because, despite being an asshole, he has reasons to be like that. First of all, because his father literally made him this way. But also, the little feelings he has (selfish emotions, yes, evil. But they're feelings, anyway. Urges. He's supposed to be emotionless and yet he knows how Sanji feels enough to use that to his advantage) are used as a way to feel superior and safe because he feels inferior. I think he's the one showing more emotions out of the three, even if those emotions aren't healthy or good and it's just him being angry all the time. That means that if he has urges and needs like that, even if he doesn't fear his own death, he could end up developing more and more empathy. His type of empathy comes from a place of fear. He feels what Sanji feels. And it's not that he doesn't care (I mean, I am aware that he technically doesn't, but let me dream) but it's just convenient for him not to care and keep bullying him to secure his place in the family.
Also pointing out that I like Niji because, being the one who says he hates Sanji the most, he's the one to protect him with his own body when that scene of the siblings helping Sanji escape happens. The others only clear the way, Niji stays with him. There's a really cool post about this on Niji's tag somewhere!!! I personally think he does this because, as that post said: Niji keeps seeing Sanji as weak, instead of believing in him enough to just clear the way. He protects him because he thinks he can't protect himself. Because he's weak.
And yes, it might sound offensive and emotionless and it doesn't make Niji a better person. But it makes him an older brother. Believing in Sanji would be great, but thinking that he's weak and needs protection after years of projecting on him only shows that the weak one is Niji. That he wants and is willing to protect his brother, too. If he didn't care about his well-being he would've just cleared the way for him, not caring about what could've happened to Sanji. But he goes all the way to help him out and protect him longer than the others did. Idk. I find that a very beautiful way of ending their relationship.
All of this being said, I have to be honest with you: When I said I liked Niji for the first time I only did it because people around me kept saying he was the worst one and it bothered me because I found his design pretty fucking cool. And tbh when he started being an actual character? I loved him even more. Because during WCI he's a fucking asshole but the way he acts towards Sanji is wanting to get a response from him, and I just find that so curious and complex... Like, if he just wanted to be evil he'd be more the Doflamingo type. But Niji looks for a response in Sanji's eyes. He wants to feel powerful because he knows he isn't.
And also, well, he's very cute and I like his hair a lot and he makes me furious sometimes which is great because if a character doesn't make you want to punch him at one point, is he really a good character? Look at him! He deserves to get slapped in the face. But also, I would love to kiss him afterward. What's that Olivia Rodrigo lyric? Ah, yes: "I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up. Wanna kiss his face with an uppercut." That's how I feel about him.
I really hope it's obvious, with all of this, that "Succession" is one of my favorite TV Shows, because I could go on and on and on (and nobody would listen but idc) about how the Vinsmokes are just the Roy family. Both One Piece and Succession deal with family in which hierarchy is crucial in a very specific and accurate way. It makes me sick. I love it.
Anyway, have some pics of my blue idiot:
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I want to hit him in the head with a baseball bat.
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nouverx · 10 months ago
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just imagine charlie being the only other character in the hotel to understand Alastor's sayings and gripes about the modern world. She's even older than he is, those two could have so much to talk about. I'm still fairly young but I have plenty of gripes about the modern world, I just know those two old ladies could find something to share lol.
I adore Charlie and Alastor as characters, and I adore your art! All of your art is damn cute to me, it's great! I need more of charlie and alastor interacting and being silly in my life, romantic or platonic doesn't matter to me lmao.
You are just like me for real 😭 when the pilot came out I was so intrigued with Alastor and Charlie they immediately clicked for me and became my favourite pair of the show (tho now that the first season is out all of Alastor's other relationships stole my heart lmao but I still love them a lot) the "big bad villain who initially wanted to manipulate the sunshine character ends up accidently getting attached to them" trope is like one of my favourite tropes ever and they have the potential to become just that so I'm really invested in what their storyline will be I'M SO EXCITED
AND YEAH the fact that the hotel was already so has-been looking before Alastor showed up makes me think Charlie is similar to him, she's more up to date than him regarding new technologies ofc but I just know my girl loves vintage stuff ahah
(Also I want them to have a duo song in the next seasons SO BAD no offense to Heaven 2 Hell I love this song but I need something new it's been 4 years lol)
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moeblob · 9 months ago
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You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
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